Celebrating Fathers in the type 1 diabetes community

On Father's Day, families gather to celebrate dads who rise to the challenge of parenting and positively impact the lives of their loved ones. This year offers the chance to thank fathers for navigating the confusion and uncertainty of 2020 — and those in the diabetes community deserve some extra attention.

As a grown man with type 1 diabetes (t1d) who has helped to raise a daughter, I know firsthand that managing blood sugar while being an attentive, responsible parent isn't easy. However, this condition has also given me a chance to impart important life lessons and skills to my child.

I recently called my daughter, now 29, and asked her how my t1d impacted her life. Here's a look at what both of us have learned about parenting and diabetes.

Balancing self-care with parenting

Managing t1d can be a 24-hour job. Staying on top of monitoring blood sugar, infusing the right amount of insulin, and counting carbohydrates take a lot of effort under normal circumstances. When I tried to do that while looking after a young child who needed attention, sometimes it was hard to know how to strike the right balance.

My daughter remembers times when I couldn't give her the attention she wanted because I was too busy taking care of my metabolic needs. Now she understands why I needed to do so, but it wasn't easy to explain that when she was just a toddler!

That's a common challenge for parents with t1d, according to those interviewed by Kerry Sparling for her book "Balancing Diabetes." In the book, one father living with t1d thoughtfully noted, "As a parent, you want to do everything you can to make your child happy, but you also have to realize that in order to be able to take care of them, you have to be in working order first."

It can be difficult to put your needs in front of your child's — but ultimately, you can't give them what they need without taking care of yours.

Managing your low blood sugar (and your kids)

Thanks to my continuous glucose monitor (CGM), which beeps an alarm when I have low blood sugar, I haven't had a severe overnight low blood glucose episode for many years. But I did run into that situation a few times when my daughter was very young, including one instance that required my wife to call an ambulance so that paramedics could infuse me with glucagon.

Frankly, that incident freaked my daughter out, and she remembers it all too well.

While there are of course many reasons to manage your t1d carefully, having a child should give you extra incentive to avoid high or low blood glucose levels. This advanced diabetes technology can not only help you keep your blood sugar on an even keel, but it can also make you a better parent. With the added peace of mind that CGMs offer, I'm able to be more present in each moment, and my daughter can rest assured that my levels are in range.

Setting a good example with your t1d

The presence of t1d in our family life has also taught my daughter some important positive lessons. She said, "I saw you taking care of your body all the time. It made me aware of healthy foods, balanced meals, and not overeating."

Don't get me wrong — I wouldn't wish this condition on my worst enemy. But despite its many burdens, it was also a blessing in disguise to me as a parent, because I was able to model healthy behaviors for my daughter. Since she was a child, she's watched me pay close attention to my body and do what it takes to stave off problems. I like to think she's adopted some of those disciplined habits.

In other words, if you take care of yourself, you can be a role model that will help your child lead a healthy life. More generally, if you properly manage your diabetes and embrace life, you can teach your child that what appears to be a disability can also be a source of great strength.

Keeping your child informed

While my daughter was growing up, the last thing I wanted to do was burden her with the responsibility of my healthcare. On the other hand, she needed to know some of the basics of diabetes management.

At a certain point, your child is going to wonder why you're monitoring blood sugar, adjusting your insulin pump, or calibrating your CGM. Once she was old enough to understand, my wife and I explained to our daughter the importance of diabetes management as well as the specifics.

It's also important for children of parents with t1d to grasp that subtle changes in behavior and moods can accompany low and high blood sugar. My daughter gradually learned to recognize the signs that her dad might be "having a low," especially crankiness and impatience. It was an ongoing challenge to explain that these symptoms didn't reflect how I actually felt about her, but it was a challenge I had to take on.

"As children get older, ensuring that they are informed and equipped to help parents may prevent or lessen the consequences of an adverse event," noted Jodi Krall of the University of Pittsburgh Diabetes Institute, who has studied children's involvement in caring for parents with t1d.

So, happy Father's Day to all dads in the type 1 diabetes community. You deserve to be celebrated — and yes, even pampered — for taking care of your children while also caring for yourself.

Are you looking for more tips around taking on the challenges of t1d management while handling other responsibilities? Check out the Health Insights blog for more information.