Type 1 diabetes and relationships: Tips for educating a new partner

The phrase "in sickness and in health" is especially poignant for someone considering type 1 diabetes (T1D) and relationships. I remember tearing up at my wedding when we exchanged those particular vows because we knew, with profound clarity, the depths of that commitment.

In the 13 years I've been with my husband, I've helped him grow from a diabetes novice into an amateur endocrinologist. Not only has his support helped me maintain my physical well-being, but sharing in the responsibility of managing this disease has helped my mental health tremendously.

Unfortunately, the science on type 1 diabetes and relationships is somewhat lacking. Even the most in-depth study on the subject can be summarized as "Some people like partner involvement, some don't — we need more data."

The bottom line is to find what works for you, your diabetes and your relationship. Here are some suggestions for educating a new partner on T1D, introducing them to your care plan and fitting them into your life.

Embrace open communication

Hands down, the most important tip for navigating type 1 diabetes and relationships is to focus on communication — it should be clear, honest and frequent! An open line of communication is the foundation of any relationship. But for relationships that include T1D, communication acts as the common thread, binding together the needs and wants of the individual with the disease and their supportive partner.

T1D is a dynamic disease. Small changes in environment, stress levels or health scenarios can drastically alter management techniques. Communicating with your partner about how you are feeling mentally, physically and spiritually — even financially — is an ongoing exercise.

Establish healthy boundaries

During those open and honest discussions, it's important to establish boundaries. This can help ensure both parties are on the same page and prevent any surprising situations. Some questions to ask yourself include:

Do you want your partner to attend diabetes-related doctors' appointments?
How hands-on (or off) should they be during site changes, continuous glucose monitor (CGM) insertions or blood sugar checks?
Do you want them to monitor your blood sugar via "share" apps connected to a CGM?
Would you appreciate their help in counting carbs or measuring food?
Is there a high or low blood sugar signal you want them to watch out for?

Every person with T1D manages the disease (and their mental health) differently. Don't assume your partner automatically understands your needs! It will help them to know your personal boundaries. Address areas of concern as they arise to ensure you and your partner are always on the same page.

Help them get hands-on

In my opinion, the only way for a partner to start to understand what it's like living with type 1 diabetes every day is for them to get hands-on. After all, experience is the best teacher!

An easy way to familiarize your partner with the basics of your diabetes management is to have them see if they can spot trends in your CGM readings. This can help them understand how different foods and situations affect your blood sugar. If you'd like them to monitor remotely via a related app, they can even help alert you to potential highs or lows.

Consider saving expired insulin, test strips and glucagon — or ask your endocrinologist for samples. Then, set up mini-lessons so your partner can get comfortable handling syringes and lancing devices. You can use an orange to demonstrate how to give an injection and encourage your partner to try it out, too.

When you are both ready, consider asking your partner to assist with an insulin pump site change or injection. Giving up just a small part of your T1D routine can feel like such a relief. Not only can this help you, but your partner will likely feel ecstatic that they are able to ease your burden.

Remember to be gentle

As individuals with type 1 diabetes, we are constantly rectifying misinformation. In professional relationships, when we are presented with a comment like "My grandma went blind from diabetes" or a question like "Should I bring something without sugar for you?" it can be easy to disregard these awkward interactions. However, it can be more difficult when they come from a romantic partner.

These comments and questions, although brash, come from a place of caring! The key is to remind yourself of their good intentions and address what's being said with corrected information.

Being gentle is a delicate balance. If your partner gets queasy at the sight of blood, is scared of needles or keeps shutting down conversations when you bring up managing T1D, explain how you felt when you were first diagnosed. For instance, you can start by saying "I used to be queasy around blood" or "I still don't like needles!" and then add "But these are the things I have to do to stay alive and healthy."

Know when to put your foot down

It's important to be persistent, but if your partner doesn't seem to be open to the idea of supporting your diabetes journey, you'll have to recognize their negative reception to your attempts at communication and education as red flags in the relationship. Type 1 diabetes is a lifelong disease, so it requires extreme mental fortitude and encouragement from close friends, family and (especially) partners. Frequent conversations around T1D and its management are simply conditions of your relationship. You deserve a partner who will be there with you through thick and thin.

Even now, 13 years after meeting and seven years of marriage, my husband is my biggest champion. He helps me change pump sites and attends my endocrinologist appointments regularly — my OB-GYN even delegated the diabetes management duties to him during both of my pregnancies! Managing type 1 diabetes can feel overwhelming at times, but a supportive, encouraging partner can be just what the doctor ordered.

Are you looking for more information around navigating the ins and outs of diabetes management? Explore the Edgepark website for more information around living with diabetes.