Diabetes and mental health: Tips when your spouse has type 1 diabetes

You vowed to love each other "in sickness and in health," and you meant every word, but coping with your spouse's type 1 diabetes (T1D) can take up a whole lot of headspace. Diabetes and mental health may not have been on your radar when you tied the knot — and diabetes may sometimes feel like the "third wheel" in your relationship — but your support is so important.

You feel for your partner, of course, but you may occasionally feel frustrated with the demands of their condition (and experience a bit of related guilt). Rest assured this is perfectly normal! Thankfully, there are a few things you can do to cope with diabetes and mental health as a spouse. Here are a few tips to keep in mind.

Get familiar with your spouse's diabetes supplies

If you don't know how to monitor your partner's blood sugar, you may feel helpless when they need you most. Perhaps you're afraid of needles, which makes you uncomfortable with learning to check their blood sugar. Or maybe you are nervous to give them too much or too little insulin.

These are all valid concerns, but if you can work past your worries, having the know-how will help you feel more confident. Developing practical skills can help you take care of your partner in emergency situations and can go a long way in easing your anxiety about their diabetes.

Ask your spouse — or their diabetes educator — to teach you how to use their glucometer or continuous glucose monitor (CGM). Know what your partner's blood sugar levels should be and what to do if their levels are out of range.

Have fun together

It's not uncommon for spouses of people with diabetes to assume the role of "caretaker." You may find that this dynamic comes naturally, or you may have to work a bit to provide all the care and support they need. Just remember that when aiming to help, it's important not to embarrass your partner.

When a spouse tries to offer too much help, the person with diabetes may start to feel talked down to, like a child — and the spouse may start to feel like a parent! To avoid this, be open with your partner and ask them to tell you when they feel like you are "parenting" them. Let your spouse know you are always available to help them and you want to keep up with what's happening with their health, but you don't want to make them feel like a child in the process.

If you've fallen into the pattern of parenting your spouse, try to take a step back. Recognize that this is not good for their mental health (or yours), and re-establish your partnership by having fun together. What were your favorite activities when you were dating? Schedule a regular date night, and spend that time talking about anything but diabetes!

Remember to take time for yourself

As there is currently no cure for type 1 diabetes, this is something your partner will live with day in and day out. You may feel guilty for craving time to yourself — away from your spouse and their diabetes management needs — but this is common, so don't fret.

Chances are, even if you were married to someone in perfect health, you would still crave time for yourself. Everyone needs "me time," so enjoy some well-deserved time alone and allow your spouse to as well.

Focus on getting regular exercise and scheduling quality time with friends and family. You may also want to consider joining a support group for spouses of people with diabetes, where you can find a community of people who are in the same situation as you.

Ask for help when you need it

Are you having trouble coping with the extra pressure that comes with being married to a person with type 1 diabetes? If so, you're not alone. Diabetes and mental health are interconnected — not just for the person with T1D but for their entire family.

You may worry about your spouse's current and future health. You may worry about the cost of taking care of their T1D. All of these concerns can add up, but routinely unloading your stress on your partner isn't fair. If you have a trusted friend or family member who can lend an ear, they might be a better choice.

If you feel like your anxiety has started to control your everyday life, it's time to bring in professional help. Tapping a licensed therapist to help you get your stress under control is one of the best things you can do to cope with diabetes and your mental health.

Stay positive

You'd likely do anything to make type 1 diabetes go away and leave your spouse alone. While there's no magic wand to make that happen, there is hope — diabetes technologies are improving every day!

Give your spouse the best support you can, and make time to recharge by yourself. Enjoy the little things with your spouse, and don't be afraid to pull in extra help when you need it. This way, you'll always be glad you said: "I do."

Interested in discovering other tips and advice for living with diabetes? Check out the Edgepark website to explore the library of helpful resources.